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He is also very critical — of both of us, but particularly of her lack of competitiveness (she hates team sports, and takes archery and piano but only for “fun”), lack of initiative, and being “uninformed,” to the extent that he gives her “assignments,” like reading articles from National Geographic and discussing them with him, which, of course, she resents. He’s trying to be a parent to her and teach her what he thinks is important for her to know, while I am trying to encourage her to develop her own interests and do what she loves.
And while my mom certainly cultivated my love of our mutual interests, she also encouraged me to participate in some of my dad’s interests, too. And to be 10, 11, 12, 13 and know that my sheer presence could make my dad so happy?
I have vivid memories of being forced to attend Cardinals games with my dad because my mom said it was important. That made me feel really loved and gave me a sense of confidence that is so, so important in a young girl (well, anyone, really).
By not actively encouraging your daughter to spend time with her father, even if it means doing things she may not actively be interested in, you keep her from being the full person she could be.
Who knows what interests of your husband’s she may learn to appreciate if she were more exposed to them.
But nurturing these relationships between your daughter and both you and your husband while exposing her to things that may or may not be of immediate interest to her WILL help her be a more well-rounded, confident young woman secure in the knowledge that both her parents love her.
It will also provide a model for her of living a rich adulthood, embracing passions and sharing passions them with the people you love (and showing interest in their passions!
We can’t watch anything on TV or listen to anything in the car related to her interests while he’s around, and if we are talking about something he will sometimes break in and tell us to stop because it annoys him.
All of this has tended to push her (and me, to some extent) away from him.
I guess that’s why I told my wife I loved her on our second date. But it wasn’t that she wasn’t giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times. I don’t think I noticed this consciously for a while. And after each time, there would be this look she would give me. It wasn’t something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well. Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating