pt os dating - Intimidating someone bigger than you

There is a very clever way to deal with this situation.Every single one of us was a child once, fairly powerless and open to the rules, restrictions and attitudes of the ‘powerful’ adults around us.It helps you to see them as a person,who was once small and powerless just like you. We often get caught up in the hype surrounding a person – they’re the CEO of a huge corporation, they’re a celebrity..whatever it is, it can lead us to thoughts that don’t assist us.

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In order to appeal the child in another adult, it is important to act like an adult dealing with a difficult child. When you approach them with curiosity it takes them by surprise and they often begin to unravel when they are asked to explain themselves in more detail.

Stick to the facts and take the dignified path always. Never be confrontational or belittling with intimidating people. Ironically, many intimidating people have learned this behaviour due to feeling powerless and unheard as children.

Be careful with this though – I don’t mean you should put on a condescending voice and offer them a sweet!

What this technique does, is allow you to ‘frame’ the other person in a different light.

Since my early 20s (I’m 28 at this point of writing), I’ve been regarded as a “power woman”.

I can understand the source of these comments, for I’ve achieved certain noteworthy milestones in my life.

As a Psychologist, I find it easy to look beyond the behaviour to the underlying reasons. Having said that, understanding the reasons doesn’t automatically make me like someone! When we come across an angry and unhappy person, many of us take this behaviour personally. I remember when I worked at Broadmoor Hospital, we would have supervision to help us cope with the various personalities we had to deal with.

The person who had come to talk to us explained that the aggressive and intimidating behaviour that we received most days from those held in Broadmoor was more about them than it was about us.

The more emotional intelligence one has the easier it is to deal with intimidation from others.

As a general rule, I have often found that the people I encounter who are aggressive, judgemental, miserable, rude or just plain horrid usually have a reason for being the way they are.

See intimidating people as telling you something non verbally – intimidating behaviour isn’t normal when someone isn’t being threatened or is not in fear.

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