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Sadly, John and Shelli’s story of a marriage nearly destroyed by pornography and addiction is all too common.

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John and Shelli certainly understood what porn was costing them.

“Accept an impossible appetite and an impossible standard, and it steals from the true beauty of what marriage is supposed to be,” John says. Who wants to grow old together in a culture where all we honor is what’s young? Pornography doesn’t teach men to serve, honor, and cherish their wives in a way that fosters romance.

“The type of pornography that’s available now was never available in human history,” says Dr. “If you can get on a 50-inch HD television a picture of a woman engaging in a sexual act, the brain’s not wired to expect that kind of thing, because there aren’t women who have 50-inch-HD-TV bodies out there.” Even the tabloids show us that the so-called picture perfect women can’t possibly compete with fantasy.

Why would Tiger Woods cheat on his swimsuit-model-wife Elin Nordegren?

They feel they have failed their partners sexually.

They feel if they were only more attractive or more available he wouldn’t rush to the porn to get his fix.Shelli remembers well the day her husband John called her up to confess his secret obsession with pornography.Years of guilt, shame, and wasted time had finally taken its toll on John, and the emotional dam broke. “It took me by complete surprise,” she says, “I didn’t have any clue that it was even an issue.” But after the shock came the hurt.If we receive a steady diet of media that portrays illicit sex as the norm, it is easy to get the impression that “boys will be boys.” How a woman reacts to her husband using pornography is based in part on what she believes healthy sexuality and relationships should look like in the first place.So, what if, just for a minute, we asked ourselves how our relationships look if we didn’t live in a pornified culture.“There was definitely a death of all that I thought was real,” Shelli says.

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