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“I’d never tried internet dating before and my friend said SA would be the best site for me.” The 5-foot-7-inch singleton, who was a stand-in last fall for Sofia Vergara for her upcoming movie “Stano,” created an SA profile without, she claims, fully understanding the deal.

“I was curious to see who was out there, who would be right for me. Another said: “I would like to put things in your a - -. ” Undeterred, Di Angelis went for dinner in Midtown with a “normal-sounding” man claiming to be worth million.

and 4 p.m.” With that, the conversation last December came to a halt.

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I felt hip and trendy.” Scores of messages poured in. If you could join me in this, I will be generous with $.” A married Upper East Side dad asked if she could “service” him between noon and p.m. He gave strict instructions that she wear a dress and have a French manicure and pedicure, for which he would reimburse her. After all, you are taking me for dinner in a beautiful place.’ ” Her date was stunned. I’ve never met a model or an actress who didn’t need anything.’ So I repeated, ‘I just don’t need anything.’ ” The pair went back to his apartment where, instead of initiating romance, he dished about the other women he’d met on SA.

“I received nice emails, saying: ‘I really loved what you wrote in your profile’ and ‘you’re so beautiful, I’d love to meet you,’ ” she says. But, because I was the ‘new girl,’ I attracted a lot of weirdos.” They included a man who wrote: “Do you like electrocution? as his kids get home then and he’d promised to “make them a strawberry cake.” Others, one of whom sent penis shots, were more direct. “I painted my nails red and wore jeans and a sweater,” she says. As well as saying that he thought half of them were prostitutes and another 20 percent were crazy, he explained how he divided them into categories.

Usually, they’re so desperate for a quick bang that they don’t even hide their hope to score.

Well fellas (and ladies), if you’re looking for a quick fix, there’s now an app for that. It’s called ‘Pure’ and it’s more focused on hookups than Tinder could hope to be. After all, you are still soliciting sex from strangers via the Internet.

Maria Di Angelis was taken aback when the man she’d contacted through the website “Seeking Arrangement” dutifully informed her that he stretched Saran wrap over his bed linens because his girlfriend was getting “suspicious.” “I am washing the sheets too often,” said the Lower East Sider during their brief phone call.

“But I’d like to put you on a salary of 0 for twice a week between 2 p.m.

According to Upper East Sider Di Angelis, it works more in theory than practice.

The first man she met on SA said that in his experience, 50 percent of the girls he met were “complete prostitutes and another 20 percent are off their rockers.” (A spokesperson for Seeking Arrangement tells The Post: “Seeking Arrangement is a dating platform for people seeking elevated relationships.

The larger the body of population around you, the better luck you’re likely to have but the range is so limited that you’re more likely to have your call go unheeded (as we did), meaning you’ll have to repeat the process again in an hour, compounding your desperation.

There’s also a catch you should know about: only your first five hook up attempts are free. By downloading the app, you’re given five free tickets to start.

Pure is only here to help you sex up and not hate yourself after. But Pure is full of people who supposedly want the same thing as you, and it makes a point not to mix business (or anything else) with pleasure.

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