Dating bipolar woman
Dealing with bipolar thoughts is a full-time gig and an exhausting one at that. Because if we don’t moderate our own thoughts and deal with them appropriately, we can’t hope to have healthy relationships with others.
And if that happens then all those pesky catastrophes we worried needlessly about will have come true.
Will they respect, admire and return your loyalty and support or will they simply walk all over it and keep doing the same thing time and time again?
Dating bipolar woman
Worried and anxious bipolar thoughts are very common and, what’s worse, is that seeing as we also obsess, we tend to obsessively worry or feel obsessively anxious. It’s not very surprising that due to all these odd thoughts, due to all the extreme, obsessive and distracting thoughts that we overreact to situations.
And then there are all the distracted-, multi-tasking-type thoughts. If your brain automatically goes to a catastrophe situation and then becomes obsessed with it, it’s really tough to have a moderate response – even when it’s a moderate situation.
These obsessive bipolar thoughts may be a repeating song from the radio, scenarios (such as a suicide scene) or a replaying of events (often negative ones), but obsessive thoughts seem to be the rule rather than the exception.
Note that research bears this out indicating that people with bipolar disorder have higher rates of obsessive-compulsive disorder than the average population. And, of course, there are all the thoughts that go along with these things.
Rob – I think that all you can do with any plans for a long-term relationship with someone who is bipolar is accept that they will go through these cycles and ‘flights of fancy.’ As long as you can handle that (i.e.
there’s no infidelity, she’s not spending all your savings or mentally damaging the children) then I think you just accept it for what it is and enjoy the beautiful moments that you have together.
Tammy – if you do give this another go, the only advice I can give you is what I have concluded that I SHOULD have done: 1/ get your partner to acknowledge that they have a problem, that they want to address it and that they want to own the responsibility for that. And as a matter of fact, as I am in contact with her every day still, and she seems oblivious to what has happened, I think I will just go ahead and bite the bullet and tell her anyway. But I feel that everyone around her, friends, family, even doctors, have been pussyfooting around her for years, excusing her because of her condition, as she simply has learned to say “I screwed up again” with little to no consequence, and not revealing everything to her therapist, who can only go on what he is told by her to help her.
2/ they will have to commit to sticking to the programme of meds, psychotherapy and including you in support groups 3/ do not take their behaviour personally and realise that bipolar skews their view or ability to do the right things (I’m not just talking about the sexual infidelity here, I also mean things like doing their chores and following through on things that will improve their / your lives) 4/ discuss and identify with them their cycles, triggers (usually stress and alcohol) and warning signs 5/ have a ‘safe word’ to them know that you both need to go see the psychotherapist to get their opinion as to whether or not they are about to enter a new phase in their cycle 6/ do NOT put all of your earnings / savings into a joint bank account: safeguard your money and belongings 7/ as a precaution, have a pre-nup that states that if they have an affair, they get nothing It sounds like a lot of rules but I think they’re necessary so that you can focus on your relationship which should be about injecting fun and love into each other with support when it’s required :) Good Luck! She may get angry and resent me forever, but eventually someone has to say it, and maybe just maybe that might help steer her in a direction that could be positive.
I don’t have the two thought processes in my one brain to compare.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating