Dating a soldier relationship story

My husband and I met 10.5 years ago when My Space had come out.

Dating someone you met online wasn't popular then, like it is now.

In exactly half a second I transformed from sad and alone to overwhelmed with giddy excitement.

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Talk about wills and powers of attorney and what you both would want if you could no longer speak for yourself.

Nothing is worse than diving fresh into difficult conversations in the middle of a legit crisis, such as an injury or illness.

I was a military girlfriend with a deployed service member and I struggled to balance waiting by the phone with getting out of the house and enjoying life. I always had a feeling about him from the moment we met. Much has changed since my first months as a military girlfriend. Think of your relationship as a beautiful brick wall built by both you and your service member.

I laid down on my couch getting ready to watch a movie, wondering what he was doing at that very moment in Iraq. We were growing a relationship, yet everything was ambivalent. On the inside, I was jumping on Oprah’s couch like Tom Cruise did back in the day when he was in-love with Katie Holmes. Because when your semi-boyfriend calls from half-way around this world, this is the exact moment you should avoid being creepy and try to act normal. Five deployments, one military marriage, countless trainings, two babies, multiple TDYs and one giant overseas PCS move filled those seven years.

You don’t have to sit on the couch sad and lonely, waiting for the phone to ring. Did you know that biggest success predictor of long-distance dating relationships versus geographically close relationships has little to do with distance?

Instead, take sailing lessons, learn to tango, or head out to dinner on a Saturday night with friends. You can keep a strong relationship during deployment and continue to live the life you have right in front of you. The true predictor about whether your relationship will survive deployment are the characteristics of your relationship and the tools keep in your relationship tool belt.

The saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” But…

And this is a big but: after several months of dehydration, the horse will probably drink whatever you put in front of him. Even the most trust-worthy people will start to make mistakes when put in tempting situations.

So when your deployment relationship feels too strained, too far gone or too empty, remember this: relationship tools will grow the connection.

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