Skypechat c2c online - Dating a pro lifer
And, as luck would have it, there were plenty of adults who were willing to rant to a kid (or at least in the presence of a kid) against big government and homosexuals and abortion and everything else wicked and wrong in this world. I kept waiting to feel the sense of duty I expected to feel from a lifetime of hearing things like "Pregnancy is a consequence of having sex and if you aren't prepared to have a baby you shouldn't have sex" and "So many people want to have kids and shouldn't--women who have abortions should give their baby to those people, instead of being selfish and killing their baby." I waited to feel a wave of anxiety or grief about being pregnant and not wanting to be a mom.
As I grew up, I occasionally stumbled on social conservative rhetoric, and so like any know-it-all teenager, I made whatever logical leaps I needed to in order to make my belief system work for me. But if you don't want to, we don't have to." We spent the next few days calling off work and eating takeout that was neither healthy nor affordable. I waited to feel like fate was interceding in my life.
The only thing I heard more frequently than classic rock or country music on the radio were conservative talk shows.
The other options involved lots of travel I couldn't easily afford that would conflict with my work schedule. Although my pregnancy wouldn't be obvious on my wedding day, every wedding picture I had would feature me, pregnant with a child neither my husband or I would raise.
The more I thought about it, the idea of spending nearly the next year in a medically vulnerable position became more and more terrifying. I wouldn't be able to hide my pregnancy from my family or friends in the small community where I lived--did I really want to have to explain to everyone that yes, I was knocked up, but no, I wouldn't be keeping the baby? I would be able to get Medicaid assistance for the pregnancy, but what if I had a lingering health condition afterward, like diabetes?
After a decade or so of hanging on every word Rush Limbaugh said, I could rationalize and re-contextualize with the best of them. We tried to talk about our situation, but conversations quickly devolved into few options. In the world I grew up in, honoring the way you were raised and the beliefs you were raised with is a big deal.
My "buck the system/damn the man" attitude toward "big government" extended to disliking and disregarding what I considered to be arbitrary social constructs. Even though I had rejected the religion and the politics, I expected to remain loyal to the ideas that I had been taught about family and responsibility.
I was young, working a low-wage job, with no health insurance.
Birth control was available through a local clinic but getting there with my work schedule was difficult, nevermind the quaking shame I felt "asking for a handout." We used condoms very diligently, but apparently Husband could get me pregnant from across the street.The pregnancy test had two dark lines on it the minute my pee hit it.And, in a reaction that surprised me to my very "abortion is murder" core, the first thought that went through my brain (without panic or fear, but very matter-of-fact and practical) was, "Girl, you cannot have a baby.I wound up falling in love too soon and too hard with the man I would soon marry.Our feelings for each other were genuine, but we both had significant baggage and damage that we brought to the relationship and totally lacked the maturity to deal with that in constructive ways.Get an abortion." I was a smart, awkward kid who was good at school and bad at sports.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating